Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I wish life had little blips of pornography
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
