Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
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Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
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I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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