my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize