so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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