just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize