Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.