is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.