my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
