I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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