Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
