What a fucking waste of an outfit
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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