Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
