this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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