he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
