I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
