im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
