I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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