That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
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There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
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After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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