Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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