just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize