Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
