508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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