READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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