a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I smell stomach acid.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
