i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
