Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
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after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
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Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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