Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
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