she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
