I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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