Pants 0. Shit 1.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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