talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
