Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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