i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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