Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize