normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
