i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
