I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
