I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
