Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
