My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
