i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
