who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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