Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
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He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
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I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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