I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
