i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
