Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
