I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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