it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
