K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
