Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Someone signed my nipple.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
