Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
