saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize