my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
