Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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