You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
