I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
