I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
