my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
