sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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