Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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