Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
