call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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