Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
