drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
